I write this as merely a reflection on various things I have been thinking about over the last couple of weeks. I have recently gotten into the readings of C.S. Lewis and have been reading about a group he was in called the Inklings, which was a group of academics that got together to talk theology and the like. As well as discussing their current works and thoughts. Given my love for history and academia, mainly the contemplative nature of writing papers, I find a group like this very interesting and something I would maybe one day love to do. I would like to start one now and maybe I will if I can find others that are interested. Anyways, more on track with what I wanted to write at this moment, and that is about Joseph, the husband of Mary; and what we, both men and women, can learn from this courageous life. Two things have sparked the desire to write this: one it is the Advent season and so it seems appropriate; and two, for a recent paper I had to read some sermons of St. Bernard, a 12th century monk, who although he wrote mostly on Mary also said some things about Joseph that I liked and agreed with. This is mainly a reflection for myself on the thoughts I have been thinking and mostly geared towards men (although I hope women can learn something from it as well) because I think it is important to meet men where they are at and help them to grow in the their walk with God.
Slight tangent: I feel the Church has done a great disservice over the last 50 years (and probably longer) however I think the blame also lies with men as a collective, for letting it happen. That is another reason why I think I must write this so as not to be a hypocrite, but also to speak with the voice that God gave me. One of the big deals I find when it comes to men and the Church is a lack of activity. There are very few men only groups and events in Churches anymore. It is not just the Churches fault, yes they haven’t facilitated anything but also the men within the Church haven’t stepped up and said that we want this; this is important to us. Most Churches I have been to have a women’s ministry which is fantastic and I am excited to see the work God is able to do through that in my Sisters in Christ. I think as men we can learn from them, I dare say, we must learn from them. Take the framework they have developed and apply it in a ‘manly’ way. Now I think this is important because I think there is something different about the sexes, I don’t think that one is better than the other; we just engage things in different ways. Now again I feel I must say that I don’t have a degree in psychology, in fact I have never taken a psychology class, and I realize that everyone is different and you can’t just say men think this way and women another. Two men/women are going to approach a situation differently based on a whole host of factors.
So, after that rather long tangent I just want to say that men need to step up and they need other men to guide them (for women can help but for fear of going off on another tangent, I am just going to say it has to be primarily men leading men). So I get to the point of Joseph, and I feel that we can get a lot from the brief mentions of his life from the Bible. Joseph is mentioned only briefly in Matthew and Luke (Mark and John don’t include the birth narrative in their Gospels) and in neither of them does he speak. But still these brief glimpses into his life I think show us a great deal of his character; that he is obedient, courageous, righteous, loving, a protector, and a leader/guide.
The compassionate and loving nature of Joseph I think comes through once he finds out Mary is pregnant. Now I have no experience in this, I have never been married, engaged, or even had any relationship that was remotely serious. But, I can imagine that finding out your fiancée is pregnant and it wasn’t yours would be quite infuriating; probably to the point where you want nothing more to do with that person. Especially in the Old Jewish tradition Joseph had every right, and probably would have been encouraged by some, to have Mary stoned to death. If he had done so most likely no one would have blinked an eye, his buddies would say ‘good riddance to her, you can now find someone more faithful’. Now at this point of the St. Bernard, the monk mentioned earlier, argues with himself over whether Joseph knew before the angelic meeting mentioned in Matthew that the baby Mary carried was the son of God or not. I don’t think that he did and that makes his move all the more important to his character and more glorifying to God. What does he do? You ask. Matthew 1:19 says “Because Joseph, her husband, was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” WOW! I mean here is this girl that he has every right to be pissed off with and he still cares enough about her to just quietly let her go to reduce her shame. I wonder sometimes what Joseph’s buddies would have thought of him. For if the story ended there, as he suddenly went from preparing to get married to being single again and not giving any reason for the separation.
But the story doesn’t end there it keeps going. An angel comes to Joseph and says “do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit” (Matt 1:20). And you know what he does exactly that; the very next day. To me, not only does it show immense courage on Joseph’s part but also an immense trust and love of God. I mean if the shame of having to give up Mary wasn’t enough, now he takes her home as his wife and you know the neighbours have got to be talking about this scandal. Now I must make a brief side note about Mary. I have no doubt that she too was courageous, to even tell Joseph in the first place not knowing what he is going to do is incredible. But I want to focus on Joseph and so that is why I exclude Mary; not because I don’t think her important.
So what about Joseph the protector. A role I think that is essential to a man’s character and a husband/father’s duty. This is not to say that women are incapable of protecting themselves; I know some very strong women who are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Rather I think men should fight (and I don’t mean just physically but also spiritually) so that women don’t have to; or in a supporting role. I am sorry but I feel I must go off on another tangent to better explain myself. Now remember what I am about to say is a generalization and may not apply to 100% of men or women. But I do believe that deep in every man is the imprint of a protector, a need to stand up and defend those that are being attacked. To put ourselves in harms way to allow others the opportunity to live on. And I think God designed men this way, I mean from a biological standpoint, on average men are taller, stronger, and faster; all of which are attributes to have when fighting an 800 lbs grizzly. Now my lack of any expertise or really hard facts prevents me from clearly expressing myself. However from talking to a few women there seems to be a desire amongst women to be fought for (and again this isn’t just always physical). Back to Joseph though, shortly after the birth of Jesus, he receives a warning from God and is told to flee to Egypt. Again Joseph trusts that God will not lead him astray and takes Mary and Jesus into a foreign land. This is something that I again struggle to imagine. God is entrusting the lives of Mary and Jesus into Joseph’s hands; to protect and care for them. Now God is not saying that they are all just Joseph’s responsibility and that he will get no help. Far from it, instead He is saying ‘I entrust them to you but I am going to be there every step of the way because you are all my children and you can come to me for strength and help’. Even for myself the though the thought of going into a foreign land where they don’t speak the same language, without a job, food, or idea of how long I will be there frightens me. I couldn’t begin to fathom the fear and doubt that would be racing through Joseph’s mind with a new wife and babe to look after as well.
The courage it would take to step into that, to trust that God will take care of you is something I think everyone can cultivate and take a lesson from Joseph. I would however like to close with a message to my fellow man. I know you are scared I am scared to, but that is why it is courage. It doesn’t take courage to crush an ant, it does take courage to step up, take a stand in your small group, in your church, and in your country. But you don’t have to face this alone, you shouldn’t have to face this alone! For one, know that God is with you, but as well gather about yourself a group of friends that you can come together with when the going gets tough. If you are looking for inspiration, for leadership, there are many strong, and courageous men that came before you; many of whom left writings and teachings. There is also always the life of Jesus that one can look to as the only perfect man.
